How Much Should Other People's Opinions Matter?

Paula had always found it difficult when people spoke negatively about her. A critical remark could stay with her for days, especially when she felt she had been misunderstood. She often wondered why certain people seemed to judge her so quickly.

One afternoon, during a visit to her grandfather, she told him about a colleague who had been spreading unkind stories about her at work.

Her grandfather listened without interrupting. When Paula finished, he asked what she knew about the colleague's life beyond what she had experienced herself.

Paula paused. She knew the colleague had recently taken on additional responsibilities and had been dealing with difficulties at home, but she didn't know much more.

“Do you think you know everything that is going on in that person's life?” her grandfather asked.

Paula shook her head.

He poured them both another cup of tea and began telling her about someone he had worked with many years earlier, a man whose behavior had often puzzled him. Over time, he had learned more about the man's circumstances and had come to see some of their earlier encounters differently.

Paula listened as her grandfather continued his story.

A Question to Explore
How do you make sense of the way other people treat you?